Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Simply Service

I'm taking a break from the usual "handy tips" post, to write about something a little more personal. Recently, I've had many conversations with friends about love languages. Ya know...the five different ways people give and receive love: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gifts, Physical Touch, and Quality Time.  Mine is Acts of Service. It would mean more if you ran to the store for me or fixed my car rather than buying me flowers you found at the check-out stand {Not that I don't love flowers. Oh, but flowers you put together especially for me, or had someone put together especially for me qualifies as an Act of Service, just FYI. wink wink}, but it truly melts my heart when I know some real time and effort went in to doing something for me. Anywho...the purpose of this post is two-fold. One, I want to share with you some awesome stories of Acts of Service. Second, I want to share a few thoughts on why I think a simple little thing like learning and catering to a person's love language can make all the difference to them.

World, meet my parents.


They have been married for just over 30 years and I must say, I really look up to their marriage. Each one gives the other time and space to be their own person, yet I grew up watching them constantly out-serve one another. Whenever one needed someone to go up to bat for the other, all they had to do was look over their shoulder and the other was there. Allow me to share with you some simple stories about how they serve and love each other.

{one}
On more occasions than I can count, my mom would make a comment like, "oh shoot, I need to run to the store to get {insert food item that was needed for dinner here}." Before my mom could even find her keys to run to the store, my dad was back with said item in hand - no ask, no nothing, he just did it.

{two}
My dad was a football coach for all my life while I lived with my parents. He endured late practices, Saturday game-days, and Sunday film-days. My mom often brought my dad dinner on the practice field and breakfast for him and his staff on film-days. Even though she had a full-time job, she always made time to serve him during his busy season.

{three}
It wasn't uncommon for my mom to get a drop-by from my dad at work, with coffee or tea in-had. Oh, and sometimes he would just take her car to get it washed and the oil changed without telling her. She'd come out to a spotless vehicle and a humble husband who wouldn't say a word about what he'd done.

{four}
I get my craftiness from my mom. She put together a super cute scrapbook of the 2002 National Championship Season my dad coached at Reedley College. She kept every article, every photo, and even added her own commentary. It was a surprise until the end of the season.

These are just a few stories from my childhood. I could go on for days. The moral of the story is, you don't need to throw a parade for someone just to let them know they're special. A simple act like a hand-written note or bringing them a cup of coffee can be all they need to brighten up their day and to tell them you care.

Now on to part two. It's one thing to show love to someone in your love language, but what about going out of your comfort zone and giving love to a friend, family member, or spouse in the way they speak love? It may be uncomfortable, it may not seem like love to you, but believe me, they will so appreciate it.  Allow me to give you a few examples.

{one}
Everyone knows my number one love language is Acts of Service (with Words of Affirmation as a very close second). This past weekend I was camping with friends and I while sitting around the fire, I said, "uh, I should pick up my towel on the ground but I'm too lazy". My dear friend Callie quickly got up and said, "Wait, Acts of Service, I'm getting used this! I'll get it for you." I laughed because she verbally processed her actions, but then I got to thinking about how totally amazing it was that Callie a) recognized that Acts of Service is my love language and b) showed me love by catering to my language, even though her love language is Quality Time. 


{two}
Acts of Service can be anything from offering to help me with some project or taking the time to write a hand-written letter {there's a blurry line between what I qualify as a "gift" and an "Act of Service"}. My friend Bri made note that I love {and I mean LOVE} hand-written notes. She's already good at doing this, but recently she sent me an extra special note and present just because she knows how much hand-written notes mean to me.


{three}
Words of Affirmation is a very close second with regards to my love language. Apparently for some, telling a friend how wonderful they are can be difficult or meaningless {shocking, I know}. But alas, it is the case for some. I've had a couple good friends recently write me personal emails affirming me. These weren't just "you are awesome" or "I'm happy for you" emails. These were deeply thought-out, sincere, authentic emails. I think I cried. No matter that Words of Affirmation isn't the love language of those friends, they still went out of there way, did something uncomfortable, and sent me some words that made me feel so special!


What is your love language? What could someone do to really make you feel loved? What are the love languages of those closest to you? Try something new and learning a new language, love language that is. Share love in the best way someone else receives it. I promise, it won't go unnoticed.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Simply Home: My Coffeehouse Inspired Livingroom

Recently I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed. All I've been wanting is a place to just sit, relax, and read a good book. I love coffeehouses, but they are often crowded and the idea of them is better than the real thing. So I decided to make my own coffeehouse. My living room was to become a place lit with candles, filled with floral fragrances, and furnished with the most comfortable seating for optimal book reading and chats over hazelnut coffee. I found most everything for this redecoration project at Home Goods and Pat's Corner, a cute little antique/thrift store in North Park (I love Pat's). Really, I just added a few simple touches to make my living room more of that relaxing coffee house atmosphere my heart was looking for.

I hope this will give you a little inspiration of your own.

Before
Even though we don't watch TV, we had this huge TV in the living room. I wanted the focus off the TV and on what's more important:  relaxing time for yourself, time with friends, and a feeling of comfort.

While I love music, our guitars took up so much room. 

After
I kept the sheet music, bought a much, much, much smaller TV (just for movies since we don't have cable) and filled the area with books, a cute lamp, and used fake book boxes (bottom right) for storage.

I moved the little chair to the corner where the big TV was. It's not my favorite reading spot. :-)


Before
I liked where I was going with the photo wall (after all, I am a photographer) but I didn't love the half-committed attempt. See upgraded photo wall below. 

After

 And now for the little touches that make this room, well...me.

Old suitcases (because I love to travel) and an antique typewriter (because I love to write)

I love hand-written notes. I mean, I really really really love them. I wanted a way to display the notes I've receive, so I found this piece of wood with dresser door knobs attached to it, hung twine, then used clothes pins to clip my notes to it. 

This is called the "slacker sack". Real name, I swear. And it's just that. I ordered it from Amazon and couldn't be happier with my purchase. It's perfect for movie nights or curling up with a good book.


 My favorite candle and REAL flowers. I buy flowers at the farmer's market almost every week. I know that may seem like a bit much, but it is one small thing I do for myself as a "treat". Every day when I come home, I look at those fresh flowers and smile.

I wanted a place to display my family's old Canon AE and my favorite photography by Jose Villa.
He's my photography inspiration. The window panes are from Pat's Corner. 


 Finally, here's a close-up of one of the frames on the wall. It's a compilation of an empty frame with string, clothes pins, twine, and vintage keys attached to it. It was a simple little craft that added that home-made feel to the room.







Thursday, June 14, 2012

Simple Design: Office

Our department recently moved into new offices. Since I exist in this physical space for 40+ hours a week, I thought it wise to make it a place of peace, inspiration, and relaxation. I think I succeeded.

First, I took down these curtains and put them over the big window that looks out into the hallway. It give me more privacy, and something prettier to look at. Next, I collected mismatched frames and put my photos from my Europe trip up. I get inspired every time I look over at this wall!

 Before                                                                    After

What's an office without your own personal achievements wall? I had to do it.

 Before                                                                    After

I got this idea from Pinterest. It's a "book self", get it!? These are fake books purchased from Home Goods and then set on brackets I installed. I added a little extra Parisian flare!

  Before                                                                    After

This shelf was very cluttered before. I tucked everything I needed into some easily accessible drawers and then decorated it with just a few items.
 Before                                                                    After

A friend found this poster for me. It's a good reminder be intentional with everyday - play, enjoy, take-in, sit, rest, and remember the moments.





Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Simply Home: "I love lamp"

No, this isn't an Anchorman clip. This blog is just a simple little showcase of a craft I recently did.

Mission: To get this lampshade (right) onto that lamp shade (left) because the lampshade (right) wouldn't fit on the base of my existing lamp.

Step One: Cut out lampshade from wire frame

Done with step one!

Step Two: Spruce up the lampshade by gluing fabric scraps to it

Step Three: Attach around old lampshade


The pinterest-able photo:


Thursday, May 31, 2012

Simple Lesson: Trees and Love

Last weekend I took a 9 hour drive north with a few friends to my Grandparent's cabin in the Sierras. This trip filled my soul. I was about to start a blog about how much I love trees and the simple joy it brings me and then I remembered, "wait, I've already written something about how a simple thing like trees bring me a great feeling of love and safety". It's amazing how much a small thing can really move you. I wrote this passage for Live a Life of Love, a non-profit clothing line I was invited to co-found with some dear friends. I hope you enjoy my reflection on how much I simply love trees and how those tall green things remind me so much of the importance of love.
 ______________________________________________________________________________

If you were to close your eyes and image a place where you felt completely safe, where would it be? I would be lying on a mossy hill surrounded by 800 year old redwood trees. The cool, crisp air would surround me, but warmth would find my body by way of sunlight breaking through the glowing tree tops. Smells of earth and far-off fireplaces would fill the air as I would close my eyes and listen to the crackling of branches swaying in the wind. Yes, I imagine that this is where I would feel safe. This is a place where I would feel God’s armor of love tightly wrapped around me.


My place of peace and love may be different than yours, but we all have one. What if we didn’t have to close our eyes to imagine a place where we felt completely and wholly loved? What if that place was your neighborhood, your school, your workplace…our world? While we may never be able to escape the brokenness that’s plagued the earth, I believe we can make huge strides to change this world into a place marked by love. In order to do that, we must take a stand, an oath, to adopt a life of love. Fortunately, we’re all unique, so adopting a life of love looks different for everyone. Here’s a small glimpse of what adopting a life of love means to me.


I’ll be honest; giving love has never been that difficult for me. I grew-up watching my parents out-serve one another with actions and gifts. They sacrificed much of their own lives for the sake of my sister and me. My sister is about as loving as they come. She’s never told a lie. She’s never deceived anyone. I’ve found that self-sacrifice brings me more joy than focusing on my own life. I’ll lift you up with words of affirmation. I’ll drive you anywhere you need to go, at any hour. I’ll sit with you in times of sadness or throw you a party in times of celebration. I love to share love. But…there’s always a “but”. Rarely do I leave much love for myself. I’m in the process of learning, understanding, and accepting that adopting a life of love means loving others AND loving myself. If you don’t allow yourself to receive love from others or spend some time showering yourself with love, eventually you’ll find your cup empty and the love you once so freely doled out to others will be no more. I’m starting to get it. My cup had been running on empty for a while and I was too stubborn and too independent to allow anyone to fill it up for me. I thought if I just waited it out long enough, eventually I’d be able to fill it up myself. Little by little, my hard exterior broke down until I was nothing more than shattered pieces crying hysterically into my mascara-drenched pillow.


After some advice from a good friend, I realized I couldn’t do it on my own. I needed to let people in. So I’ve begun to open my arms and accept the help and love of others. I’m realizing that the love I allow myself to receive from others isn’t just from this friend or that friend…it’s from a much greater place. God is using the people in my life to show me His love. All this time I hadn’t just been pushing people away, I had been pushing God away. So to me, adopting a life of love is as much about giving God’s love as it is receiving it.


Since stumbling on this little epiphany, I haven’t felt as strong of a need to get in my car and drive north until finding a little rock to rest on in a redwood forest. Sure, my heart still needs a little alone time in the mountains from time to time, but my place of safety and love has started to morph into my present life. It’s my morning coffee. It’s receiving words of affirmation even when I don’t believe them. It’s giving time to others when I’m feeling selfish. It’s receiving help. It’s sharing a love for thrift stores and color-coded calendars with a friend. It’s letting someone in. It’s trying, everyday, to live life as Jesus Christ did when he walked this earth. It’s inevitable that we will fail at living out His love perfectly, because we are broken and human and flawed. But we should never give up trying to live a life of love.


I have this verse written on my bedroom wall. I admit, sometimes I’m immune to the powerful description of what love is, as it’s described in this verse. But when I do take the time to absorb these words, I start to get a sliver of understanding of how great God’s love truly is. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

 ______________________________________________________________________________

After re-reading this blog I wrote over eight months ago, I realized I had forgotten this little commitment to myself. I had forgotten how to find love in the little places. But thanks to this refreshing trip to the mountains and to my trees, I got a strong dose of love and a reminder that I don't need to drive 9 hours to find it (although I really didn't mind the drive, because seeing those beautiful trees was so worth it). So while I appreciated and needed this trip, I'm making a re-commitment to myself to not forget how to find love for myself and for others in life's daily gifts. And...because I love trees so much, here are a few photos of my favorite spots we visited while on our weekend vacation.











Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Simply Home: Musical Muse

I decided to post installments of the many "face lifts" I've given my apartment. This decorating adventure was inspired by the desire for our living room to be a place of musical creativity. My living room already looks different {that's for another blog}, but for now I hope this craft project inspires some creativity of your own.


Musical Muse

I ordered old sheet music from ebay and picked up 
some scrap fabric from the fabric store. 

Then I cut the sheet music into circles.

I glued the scrap fabric onto the sheet music circles. 

I {carefully} staple them to this blank wall. 

The finished product!