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If you were to close your eyes and image a place where you felt completely safe, where would it be? I would be lying on a mossy hill surrounded by 800 year old redwood trees. The cool, crisp air would surround me, but warmth would find my body by way of sunlight breaking through the glowing tree tops. Smells of earth and far-off fireplaces would fill the air as I would close my eyes and listen to the crackling of branches swaying in the wind. Yes, I imagine that this is where I would feel safe. This is a place where I would feel God’s armor of love tightly wrapped around me.
My place of peace and love may be different than yours, but we all have one. What if we didn’t have to close our eyes to imagine a place where we felt completely and wholly loved? What if that place was your neighborhood, your school, your workplace…our world? While we may never be able to escape the brokenness that’s plagued the earth, I believe we can make huge strides to change this world into a place marked by love. In order to do that, we must take a stand, an oath, to adopt a life of love. Fortunately, we’re all unique, so adopting a life of love looks different for everyone. Here’s a small glimpse of what adopting a life of love means to me.
I’ll be honest; giving love has never been that difficult for me. I grew-up watching my parents out-serve one another with actions and gifts. They sacrificed much of their own lives for the sake of my sister and me. My sister is about as loving as they come. She’s never told a lie. She’s never deceived anyone. I’ve found that self-sacrifice brings me more joy than focusing on my own life. I’ll lift you up with words of affirmation. I’ll drive you anywhere you need to go, at any hour. I’ll sit with you in times of sadness or throw you a party in times of celebration. I love to share love. But…there’s always a “but”. Rarely do I leave much love for myself. I’m in the process of learning, understanding, and accepting that adopting a life of love means loving others AND loving myself. If you don’t allow yourself to receive love from others or spend some time showering yourself with love, eventually you’ll find your cup empty and the love you once so freely doled out to others will be no more. I’m starting to get it. My cup had been running on empty for a while and I was too stubborn and too independent to allow anyone to fill it up for me. I thought if I just waited it out long enough, eventually I’d be able to fill it up myself. Little by little, my hard exterior broke down until I was nothing more than shattered pieces crying hysterically into my mascara-drenched pillow.
After some advice from a good friend, I realized I couldn’t do it on my own. I needed to let people in. So I’ve begun to open my arms and accept the help and love of others. I’m realizing that the love I allow myself to receive from others isn’t just from this friend or that friend…it’s from a much greater place. God is using the people in my life to show me His love. All this time I hadn’t just been pushing people away, I had been pushing God away. So to me, adopting a life of love is as much about giving God’s love as it is receiving it.
Since stumbling on this little epiphany, I haven’t felt as strong of a need to get in my car and drive north until finding a little rock to rest on in a redwood forest. Sure, my heart still needs a little alone time in the mountains from time to time, but my place of safety and love has started to morph into my present life. It’s my morning coffee. It’s receiving words of affirmation even when I don’t believe them. It’s giving time to others when I’m feeling selfish. It’s receiving help. It’s sharing a love for thrift stores and color-coded calendars with a friend. It’s letting someone in. It’s trying, everyday, to live life as Jesus Christ did when he walked this earth. It’s inevitable that we will fail at living out His love perfectly, because we are broken and human and flawed. But we should never give up trying to live a life of love.
I have this verse written on my bedroom wall. I admit, sometimes I’m immune to the powerful description of what love is, as it’s described in this verse. But when I do take the time to absorb these words, I start to get a sliver of understanding of how great God’s love truly is. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
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After re-reading this blog I wrote over eight months ago, I realized I had forgotten this little commitment to myself. I had forgotten how to find love in the little places. But thanks to this refreshing trip to the mountains and to my trees, I got a strong dose of love and a reminder that I don't need to drive 9 hours to find it (although I really didn't mind the drive, because seeing those beautiful trees was so worth it). So while I appreciated and needed this trip, I'm making a re-commitment to myself to not forget how to find love for myself and for others in life's daily gifts. And...because I love trees so much, here are a few photos of my favorite spots we visited while on our weekend vacation.
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